Wow, I’m amazed at this one, its just proof that it doesn’t matter how much money you throw at something, Michael Bay is still crap. I think i will just review this one in dot points, because if i pad it out with standard English we will be here for months.
1. They say “no no no no no” about 20,000 times, seriously watch it again and look out for it…. it will drive you insane.
2. Megatron forgets he can fly….. WHO FORGETS YOU CAN FLY…. WTF…. *superman wakes up…walks to shops…. gets a coke…. wait… wtf…. why am i walking… DEH!
3. The part where megatron remembers he can actually fly, kid is running to top of building and looks up to see about 40000 flights of stairs, then seconds later megatron bursts through roof and kid in already on roof, pretty sure he ran about 2000000000 k’s and hour.
4. Can you spell cliche? “i want her record wiped” (direct quote from bad kid actor) Nice Michael Bay….Nice.
5. Over the how every many grueling hours that the movie goes for… it doesn’t do anything, they go to 3 locations…. BEDROOM, HOVER DAM, CITY….. that’s just lazy….
6. THE HOVER DAM!…. how convenient that the all spark just happened to land in a river in America… “Yeah look guys… i wanna make a movie but I don’t really wanna go anywhere, so ummm we will just change the story a little so i don’t actually have to spend any money on a plane ticket. tight…. real tight.
7. With all their high tech systems, why didn’t the transformer just turn into like a computer router or something and just get installed in the pentagon to steal all that info. That would be terribly boring but maybe if the writers spent a bit more time writing and a little less time touching them self, we might have a winner.
8. 2 hours of advertisement for everything, ebay, ipod, xbox and anything else Michael bay can get an endorsement for.
9. they released it on HD DVD…. enough said.
10.Michael Bay
11. Demographic – Targeted at retarded monkeys.
i could go on and on and on, but I’m sure you get the idea….. NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!
Oh how glad I was to see that I could respond to your terribly short-sighted review. I’ll pad this out in points, so you can see first-hand how poor your review is, as the response to it is the same format.
1. No no no no no no no no no no! Are you annoyed yet? Cos I’m sure if you have seen “The Greatest Game Ever Played” or the upcoming Indy Jones previews, Shia LaBeouf is actually a pretty good actor, and the only bi-polar person who was affected by the No no nos was you. I really didn’t notice anything, and neither did the squadron of people who came with me to see the premiere.
2. I can’t really see where Megatron forgets he can fly. And Megatron is considerably bigger than most of the other robots, being the leader of the Decepticons, so I’m sure he would prefer a bit of combat over transforming and flying off.
3. Make sure you don’t start writing scripts or screen-plays, because if you’re the kind of person who needs a person running up some stairs cinematically spelled out to you, we’re all in for a boring flick. I assumed it was an action movie when I saw the first preview back in December 06, so if they skip some boring detail in lieu of kick-arse battle scenes, then I’m all for it.
4. Seriously? That’s your gripe? Am I the only person seeing this particular point as a little whiney and misguided? Need I continue? The only line I thought which was even remotely cheesy was Optimus: “One shall stand, one shall fall” taken from the ’80s cartoon Transformers Movie. So if you wanted to try and bring the script down with one example (which isn’t exactly a substantial argument), you chose the wrong example.
5. Mate, you missed the car-yard, the school, the park, the look-out, the Arctic circle, and inside the dam. If you’re going to blag a movie, be factual please.
6. Now I’m sure that, seeing as you didn’t like the movie, you were asleep, so I’ll fill you in. The Allspark wasn’t found at Hover Dam, it was found in the Arctic Circle with Megatron and transported to the site where the Hover Dam was built around it. Not too difficult to establish this part of the storyline, actually.
7. OK, so say we went with your “transform and head to the pentagon” scenario. Why would they when they could land anywhere on earth, touch any link to the www and implant their virus remotely into the pentagon? Oh, hang on….that’s what they wrote into the script! The easy and more entertaining option!
8. There’s a few movies that have used product placement since Castaway had a FedEx truck. Not much of a concrete point to “fail” a movie.
9. HD DVD is a worthy medium for the stellar special effects featured in movies like Transformers. There was a lot of detail thrown into the transforming and battle sequences (I was afraid they’d skimp on the special effects…..I was happily proven otherwise), and Blue Ray and HD will be a great way to show that off. So no, not enough said!
10. Isn’t the web an excellent medium where you can slag someone like Michael Bay or anyone who puts themselves in the public eye without ever leaving the faceless comfort of your computer keyboard? I can’t wait to see movies of your’s and review them poorly with little argument. But then again, I probably wouldn’t stoop that low.
11. Actual Demographic – targeted at action movie lovers and while it is entertaining to all viewers, it manages to still stay true and accurate for the people more familiar with the Transformers label. No retarded monkeys required.
Wow your pretty annoyed hey.
I’m not going to go into detail about all the bull shit you just wrote,
just a few main points,
1. you can’t tell if a person is a good actor from a trailer…. if you only need 2 minutes to decide if they are good, then your easily pleased.
2. you use the word squadron in your comment. Your not a fkn fighter poilot, stop playing microsoft flight simulator and go outside.
3. close to the cartoon? hes a big gun… remember? or are you only 14 and weren’t old enough to remember them.
(its only cool coz ur probably emo… kinda like power rangers is cool for emo kids.)
4.its cliche, just coz u thought it was cool, doesn’t mean its not cliche.
5. all the locations of your standard town, arctic circle was most likly shot in a studio. a car yard is not a cool location.
6. so they transported the all spark to a better location to suit the films needs. I guess thats good cost cutting measure.
7. write a better script… it was an easy way for the decepticons to get the info, and it would have been boring, so the writters need to think a little longer on how they can write a story that doesn’t involve the transformers to go to stupid measures like stealing the info from airforce one…
8. this movie was a giant advertisement, im not saying other movies havnt done it… but this is out of control.
9. Oh didnt you hear, HD DVD IS DEAD. u must be one of the poor suckers who baught the player. bad luck for you.
10. it is a great medium to say what i feel and then not have to care about your opion or you trying to hunt me down because you are obsessed with some crap movie.
11. actual demographic – stupid people like urself who can be baught off with flashy special effects and a cheap tie into a cool 80’s cartoon.
wow, i said i wasn’t going to waste my time with a full reply…. guess i was wrong….
Review the reviewer:
Just so you know, I’m one of the many people who struggled to sit through this movie as thelolreview suggests.
After all the hype surrounding this movie – it really was crap… Aside from special effects and the fact that Peter Cullen came back for Optimus, what was something “good” about it? There was not one scene in that movie that left me with a shiver down my spine. The only feeling this movie gave me was a funny feeling down below when Megan Fox was “fixing the engine”.
Let’s face it, it’s not exactly high art – this is a movie targeted at 15 year olds… kept in that context then there wouldn’t be an issue – except that Dreamworks squarely marketed this movie at the more lucrative 25 – 35 age group. I’m sorry, but movies like this leave a sour taste in my mouth and for some reason the theatre is one of the only places you cannot get your money back for a crap product – no matter how hard I tried.
Michael bay is one of the most cliched directors I’ve ever seen… he follows the “Make a hollywood blockbuster in 10 days” book to the letter. With quotes like the little turd character saying on behalf of the hot as hell Megan Fox: “Yeah, and I want her juvy record wiped to”… and how about we get the federal agents to pull down their pants… hahaha OMG they actually did it, they pulled down their pants. Want me to go on? Bumblebee taking a leek? You think this humor is worth of anyone post-pubescent?
Would you really want to put on your investment: “From the directory of Pearl Harbour”?? You would be lying if you said yes.
In summary, Transformers was one of those movies that most people came away from with the knee jerk reaction that it was awesome, only to realise later that it was infact bland, had next to no story and served only to update there awareness of the state of the CGI art. Points for CGI and pew pew factor… but don’t pretend for a second that this movie shouln’t have been a lot better… I MEAN A LOT!
Review the reviewer – Transformers is correctly labelled a *FAIL* here… unless you are somehow related to the franchise financially – no denying it did well, especially in the American market who seem all too eager to eat up anything that Hollywood churns their way.
Perhaps you should pull your head out of Megatron’s data port for five minutes and take a look around – a lot of people (most likely all grownups) really didn’t like this movie – http://au.rottentomatoes.com/m/transformers_the_movie/.
And for the record… I also noticed the “no no no no no” in this movie – watch it and count them.
Bumblebee* ‘Hey megatron, check it out… guy gettin laid on my bonnet’
Megatron* ‘………sweeet’
Hah… Man you nailed that review. That movie should have been so much more, its a pitty, I had really high hopes.